


Louisiana Lowdown and blue

by lil_1337



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-18
Updated: 2006-07-18
Packaged: 2017-11-06 22:03:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/423766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_1337/pseuds/lil_1337
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the song Louisiana lowdown by Cowboy Mouth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Louisiana Lowdown and blue

Another day, another cheap hotel. It'd be funny if it wasn't so damn pathetic. I hate being predictable. I've spent my life beating the odds, and yet here I am in the worst dump in New Orleans. I smell like a bar; smoke, alcohol, and puke. My braid is so greasy you could mine it for oil. Too bad we ditched fossil fuels before my great grandparents were born. I could use the money right now. I could use a lot of things right now. A good cup of coffee and a full night's sleep to start off with.

Three months ago I had a home, a lover and a great job. Now, they're gone. Thrown away in a fit of jealous rage. Heero and Une both told me to get help, but I wouldn't listen. Taking advice has never been one of my strong suits. In the end they did what they had to and cut me loose. Not that I blame them or anything. Well, not much. At least not when I'm sober.

But then anyone who knows me knows what you see isn't always what you get.

God, my head hurts. The sun coming through the dingy curtains is too fucking bright. I wasn't near as drunk as they thought I was last night, but that's not to say I was sober either. You can only play the game so far without something to make it look real. It's a good thing I've got a high tolerance since everyone wanted to buy Maxwell the lush a drink last night. Get him drunk and see what he spills. The joke's on them. All they got was their whiskey back along with the chili from dinner.

Tyrone called a few minutes ago. That's what woke me. I knew it was him because of his slimy guess who. It's six fucking am, I've got the hangover from hell, and he wants to play guessing games? Fuck him. I told him no and hung up. He can call me back or not. I couldn't give a fuck at this point.

Last night as I was stumbling back to this firetrap, I saw this nun. She was standing on the corner handing out bibles, reminding all the drunks that Jesus loved them and had died for their sins. For a minute I would have sworn it was Sister Helen. Her eyes had that same glow of faith. I so ashamed I just shoved all the credits in my pocket at her and took off. What would Father Maxwell and Sister Helen think of me if they could see me now?

I know this isn't real, it's just another mission, but the nights are starting to run together along with the faces. I'm lonely. God, am I lonely. There is no one I can talk to. No one I can trust. It's like living my childhood all over again. Dodge and run. Charm and steal. I'm not that person anymore. I haven't been for a long time.

Fuck Une and the rest of them!

I want my life back. My real life. The one where I go to sleep in Heero's arms on clean sheets, not staring at the ceiling worrying about how he is. Wondering if he misses me as much as I miss him. Being depressed over the loss of my lover is one of the few things I don't have to fake. It's an ache in my chest. As real as the stains on the bedspread. The only thing about this place that isn't real is me. Me, and the dream Heero that stalks me even when I'm awake.

I know one thing. When this mission ends I'm gone. Hell will freeze over before I set foot in the great state of Louisiana again.


End file.
